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  • A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
    by Caskie Stinnett

  • Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
    by Laurence J. Peter

  • I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

    by Rodney Dangerfield

  • Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything.

    by Blaise Pascal

  • One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
    by Kurt Vonnegut

  • If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
    by Ted Turner

  • Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
    by Albert Schweitzer

  • I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
    by Hunter S. Thompson

  • Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
    by Robert Frost

  • America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
    by Arnold Toynbee


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