A man buried his wife and returned home. It was getting night, and too tired he went to bed with grief. Soon there was blinding lightning followed seen outside the window followed by loud thunder which woke him up surprised. He mumbled, "Did she reach there already?”

If cleanliness is godliness I adore soap.

A young man on his first date was nervous and calls his dad on his mobile. He was advised to talk only on three topics that are food family and philosophy and nothing else.'

True to his fathers advice the young man asked his girl ‘How about potato chips?’ She replies she don’t like them. Next he asks ‘how is your brother doing?’ The young lady says “I don’t have a brother"

The lad then uses his trump card that is philosophy, "Suppose you had a brother would you still be refusing potato chips?''

 

Why  men pass wind louder ?



Ans:Men have 

Microphone and 2 Speakers by anon

1f 10%of road accidents are due to drunken driving then it is same as 90% accidents happen with drivers not drinking and driving.

A thief broke into a house one night and pointed a gun at the wife sleeping on the bed. He asked her what was her name and she said, Gloria. He lowered the gun and said he would not kill a woman with that name as his mother too was Gloria too. He pointed the gun at the husband lying beside her. He blurted out "George, but people call me Gloria."

One day a fellow died and friends talked about how he never touched wine, never moved with women, not gambled and kept to himself always. A programmer was passing by and quipped, 'Hey folks!  Technically the man has not died-- for death happens only when life is there."

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.



Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."



Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.



Three days later, she became his stepmother. by http://jokes4all.net/

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel ... they said, because it was bigger.



One day after Little Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"



Slowly, Little Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and he said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!" by http://jokes4all.net/

Lover:"Darling you are one in a million."

Loved one: "But I heard you are after your second million of late?" by Seshu BSR Chamarty